BLAST from the PAST 2

Friday, February 25, 2005

Today was one of the worst days that I've had in a while. First, it seemed to start off as a good day because I slept in after a fun night with my family. But mornings for me never turn out good. There's something about the morning that makes me move in slow motion and shit just lags and I'm always always late - and my hair's a mess, even if it's straight. So, like always, I'm SUPER late to school. Class ends up being bullshit, like always. And dance just drags. My broke tooth needs work on because of all the candy I scarf down every hour. The dentists stick needles in my gums and my hard palate till I'm numb and dumb, drills the shit out of my tooth till she gets where she needs to be, and cuts savagely at my gums, squirting blood all over my face, and sews me up, stitches all noticeable and shit. The pain's unbearable and I'm soo hungry. And I'm just in such a bad mood because of this constant throbbing in the left side of my mouth. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's the first time I've written in here for over a month and all I have is a list of complaints, haha. I'm just canned because I missed dance tonight. It's one of the only places I love to express myself fully, take what's inside and channel it into an art. And I missed it 'cause of my broke tooth. It's also one in the morning and my ass has work at nine in the morning. I NEED A VACATION, haha. Plus there's this tension in me that I can't really figure out where it's at and what I need to do to relieve it. I mean, I don't really have any problems in my life directly, so nothing's really causing stress. School's never really anything to make me all crazy. Work's new so it's all good. Not enough partying? Sexual tension? Deprived of shopping? HAHA. I feel like this from time to time, then it passes - life goes on. It's probably because I haven't been eating chocolate cause of my broke tooth. Chocolate and ice creams always help. I was driving home from school today and Nothing Even Matters was in my CD player. And it's one of my favorite dances. So I'm driving on skyline and dancing and snapping, with face and all. And dude next to me in the other car is staring at me like crazy. Lukily I had my shades on so he wouldn't see me directly lookin' in his eyes. It's not like he never did that shit before. I know everybody be actin' superstarry in their car - it's not just me. I see them and clown the hell outta them in my head. THINGS THAT HAPPENED SINCE I LAST WROTE HERE: SNOWBOARD. Got CHASED by a SKUNK. Broke MY PINKY nail OFF. Experienced what a PANTY DROPPER can do to a girl (EXACTLY THAT), YOSHI'S night of fun. HANGOVERS. GOT A JOB. MADE it routine to go to BLUSH - even on non-crackin' nights. MADE barnes and noble my second home. REALIZED how much i miss CSM and hate SKYLINE. Completed almost two TAPIOCA EXPRESS frequent buyer cards. Realized how HAPPY i am. Had A SUCKY valentine's day. BAD HAIR DAYS because of the stupid red i fuckin' put in it. DROPPED my 930 class cause i was always an hour late. Danced HELLA. So I watched sexy Will Smith in HITCH and walked out of the movie theatre thinking about relationships. I like the movie. But all night I was thinking about two things: 1. Fate and 2. Taking the initiate to make things happen. Now this was the night Nate, Fro, and me got chased by a skunk on Beachview. And those guys were on something because they were the ones talkin about love first and how things could happen because of FATE or taking the initiate to make love happen - believe it or not. And it's always interesting to hear the opposite sex's opinion about love. But what is it? Are we supposed to wait and let life take it's course, providing us with things that 'are meant to be' or are we supposed to jump at opportunities and make something out of it? Fro believes in making things happen because you're the only one who'll decide your own fate. And Nate believes in waiting for the right person to find you, cause there was somebody born for you. Deep shit, huh. I believe that's there's a comprise between the two and that both's possible. They both have a point. Interesting huh. I guess that's enough blabberin' for tonight. My tooth's yellin' for me to jump my ass into bed 'cause it's gonna be impossible for me to wake in the morning. It's hurting, a sign for me to head to bed, where it's nice and warm - time to dream, my favorite.