When I was 5, kids made fun of me in school. I looked different, acted different, and felt different- eyes bulged out my sockets, was off the walls bouncing with energy, and felt extraordinary special. I took medicine for my hyper thyroid everyday at lunch and was ashamed of it. One day, I pissed myself - in my skirt/jumper uniform and nude tights.
When I was 6, my best friend slept over and said I wet the bed. I could have sworn I didn't, but she said I did. The sheets were cold.
When I was 18 I cut school and played hookie with a boy in my car. I went to McDonalds to dry my stretchy khaki pants before I had to go back to my last class. They got wet. I think I used the hot air dryer and what was left of the paper towels.
When I was 19 I ate at Benihana for my cousins birthday and sharted before I opened my house garage.
When I was 21 I had an upset stomach during dance rehearsal in Oakland. Let's just say I was on the Bay Bridge in traffic on a Saturday night and was miles from a Shell public restroom. My brother and mom said the smell in my car was very unpleasant.
And in my pants at 26, I found two golden strands catching my eye. Actually, they're white.
...in my pants, it happens...
