I've been called a lot of names by boys and girls in my life - bitch, hoe, slut, asshole, etc; disrespected verbally by people who think that talking inappropriately is normal and okay to do. I knew it wasn't right to tolerate it - despite whether or not I contributed to the drama; but only till the last 5 years of my life did I really realize that there are good men (people) out there that can treat you right and talk to you without disrespecting you when they're upset. It's possible. I believe it. I was just surrounding myself with people who naturally weren't mature enough to deal with their feelings or were just raised in an environment that tolerated that. They would turn situations negative because they couldn't communicate otherwise. And I wasn't mature enough to deal with it appropriately. So I contributed to the cycle.
I was a senior in high school and had to stay after school for rally rehearsal. I let the boy I was in love with take my car and my brother home. It was something I did. This was a time in my life where I was fully involved with someone that I should not have been with - but was. I was dependent, insecure, destructive, jealous, and weak. Looking at it now, I can't even imagine myself. Anyway, I can't recall what we were talking about but I was leaning against the driver's window and the mother fucker told me to 'GO TO SLEEP HOE' and drove off. As he accelerated out of Oceana's parking lot, I chased after him. I chased after my car, on foot, in front of the entire Oceana student body. They watched and I ran as if I could catch up to him. I looked like a fool.
In college, I would get HOE written on my car while it was parked in the Serramonte parking lot. It'd be foggy so someone would use their finger to write HOE on my window.
I still get inappropriate texts from haters. Unbelievable.
Verbal inappropriateness shouldn't be tolerated, though it happens. And I'm guilty of it myself, I admit. But I believe that being aware that it is disrespectful and unnecessary will help let it happen less. Help break the CYCLE.
