I need to write

The amount of love from my friends this morning has been unbelievable. And I am so blessed to be in the position that I am -with a store, at 28 years old, in San Francisco, living the dream.

change

I haven't written for 8 months. And today, I feel like writing.

I read three sentences from my last post and in May. I was grieving and reconstructing my infrastructure, re-evaluating my values and digging deep inside to find myself - different than where I am today.  Today, January 10th, I realize that my life has turned full circle.  I am a San Francisco business owner.  I sell affordable one of a kind thrift and vintage clothes for men and women and curate events in my space.  I do everything that I love in my store and share it with everyone that walks through my doors.  And I meet amazing people everyday.  I am livid, completely blessed and so grateful to have the opportunities that I have.  The energy I suppressed inside is now exerted in everything that I do, EVERYTHING. I love my life have worked so hard to find focus.

I haven't danced or exercised since August. I ran Lake Merrit yesterday #changingit

I haven't sang for fun in a long time. I sang tonight in the store #changingit


I have a complex when it comes to relationships and allowing people to love me. And Sunday, I realized that I have to be honest with myself in order to grow and like the person that I am. I can't run from love or deny my feelings.  I have to be honest with myself first. So I'm mending wounds that I've swept under the rug and dealing with myself and the things I need to address. #changingit

Everything in life is good.  I'm the strongest I have ever been. And I need to take risks. I have nothing to loose. There are just a few loose ends that need some attention. Change is gonna come. I'm so scared. But change is going to come.

LettingGo

I was homeless for a week. Been broken because of bad energy. And have been fighting to get through the past month. I fell off the grid, lost my face, and am now in the process of finding and re-inventing myself. And to top it off, I'm grieving because of losing two things - the house I grew up in and the piano that I've had since I was 5. I'm not one to care for material things, despite what I may portray. But, my connection with the two is strong like rock - still. I've been broken for six months inside, fighting everyday to be strong.  But, I've accepted and believe that life is amazing and can be quite a fight, making today okay. 

I cherish the time I spent in Pacifica and reflect every morning about my experiences there in life. And am grateful for having had such a home, filled with life, love, and warmth. 

But to be honest, I'm still shaken from losing my piano. I believe it saved my life. As a child I was bouncing off the walls and full of energy - more energy than normal. At 5, I was diagnosed with Hyper Thyroid and had to be medicated and monitored, a horrible lifestyle.  My piano saved me, literally. Playing it helped me express myself and channel energy I didn't know how to control.  I would feel frustrated because I didn't know what to do with myself and what I would feel inside -I was a firecracker that would explode.  But, playing forced me to know discipline. It encouraged me to experiment with musicality artistically and enabled me to use my hands to express and channel the energy running through my blood and body.  I learned control and was able to manifest sanity and understand peace of mind. It was music therapy....

...and now I'm without it.

I always reflect and make of lists of things to LET GO of. It's helped me grow. I made another one. I will burn it today to help me push forward. And PIANO is on the top of the list. I record myself -experiences, feelings often. I recorded the last day I played the piano. Watching it is bittersweet. 

Sometimes you just have to let go.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” — Herman Hesse

Bone Thugs N Harmony - LA, Day 2

Day 2 of working with Bone Thugs and The Life Entertainment was an amazing experience, pushing me to test my potential in the event/artist entertainment industry.  Last Friday night was definitely one of the most challenging events I have ever worked, feeling 10 times more intense than any SF/Bay Area event I've ever witnessed.  I was high off of the rush and am recovering from it all now. I'm addicted. And my taste of Hollywood's industry with a high profile artist was definitely DELICIOUS.

From being the face of The Life Entertainment greeting artists at the venue, to working with the million promoters who were hungry for the door, to getting Wish, Krayzie, and FleshNBone into the club, to running around Hollywood picking up Hot Wings and artists - I had my hands FULL, constantly moving, running, creating avenues for challenges. I changed my shoes three times.  I applied my dark black, purple lipstick 4 times. And immersed myself entirely in the event. I'm not 5 feet 8'. I'm small. I'm Filipino, not white and my hair's not straight - different from Asians around. I'm not from LA, and don't fit the description of the standard woman in the industry BUT I bust my ass hard, passionately and live in the moment, loving it all.

Funky Wristbands for Bone and The LIFE, the Funkier the Better.

Michelle suggests plain wristbands.

Pozition's Sound Check @Cabana Club

Gemma's Delicious Cupcakes - Marley's Treats

Our MEDIA WALL - Oh the drama we went thru to get this wall up

Krayzie Bone

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bone Thugs N Harmony - LA, Day 1

I am blessed to extend what we started in the Bay to LA. I got the call from their management direct and have been on the grind all day. Tonight's gonna be fire.

I parked in the streets of Hollywood and my meter was busted and i got a $68 ticket. WTF?

@Krayzie Bone's Studio - They makin' MAGIC

Krayzie Bone and Flesh-N-Bone

MTV and BET

Mooooon MAN

Bone Thugs and Harmony

In 1995, the same year I made my first phone call to a boy I liked, I became a pro at recording music off the radio. I'd take a blank tape from my dad's collection, jam it in my stereo, change the channel to KMEL, and wait, listening to each song until it was time to press record.  I was anxious every time I'd sit there, staring at the stereo, hoping I'd catch the beginning of the song I wanted. And I'd get them all: Freak Like Me, Waterfalls, Gangsta's Paradise, One More Chance/Stay With Me, Shy guy, and MORE. But one of the infamous songs, was Crossroads.  I was on Bone Thugs like white on rice, in a trance from their chants and swag.  CMC was on after school everyday and I'd wait for the video to come on.  I would study the lyrics and know them like the back of my hand. And this past week, I've been living in Bone Thugs and Harmony World, a surreal space in my world that has taken me once again, on an amazing journey. The experience was interesting and I'm blessed to have gotten to know them and their team.

We (Paragon Lux Entertainment) were able to work with Studio 92, based out of Hayward, Bone Thugs direct, and Krayzie Bone's Label - The Life Entertainment, their artists.  Thank you Trung Tran at Club Recess for hosting Friday night's party and for Duc and Mike Yee of Horizon for hosting Saturday Night.  

OUR VIDEO DROP for Bone Thugs' Official AFTER PARTY @HORIZON Ultra Lounge

Billy Billz and Sin Marlee

Duke Terrell

Paragon Lux with Marley's Treats

Krayzie Bone

Wish Bone

DONNIS - Signed with Atlantic, soarin' HIGH, and rockin' HIGHLANDS

I was fortunate to catch up and coming artist DONNIS at the Highlands last night. With that ATL swag and cool, down to earth personality, he graced the stage with his presence as the ladies loved him.

www.donnismusic.com/
TWITTER: DONNISXDONNIS